Okay. I know I need to gain a little perspective. Thanks, everyone. Like I said, I just need to continue to try to do my best. Regardless of what may come.
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W called me yesterday as I was leaving work (early) to go pick up our S's from school/preschool. She said she was in the area where S3's preschool is and wanted know if I "needed" her to pick up S3 herself and take him to the house to wait for me. Impatient little wench she be. I told her "No, thank you." I know she's just trying to horn in on my custody time.
She also told me she had gotten some IMAX theater tickets to the opening of Speed Racer for her and the boys. W has had a long time crush on the title character since the old anime series. We bought the DVD collection years ago before S3 was born and S7 was little, mostly for W's nostalgia. Lately, they dug out those old series and have been playing them over and over.
So, I know this was something special for W and our S's. When she said I could tell them the news, I told her I would let her do that. I did tell my S's that whenever their mother would call that evening she would have a surprise to tell them about, but I didn't elaborate. And when she did call later and she got to tell them, I cheered right along with my S's for the thrill at knowing they're going to see something they've been looking forward to.
Yeah, I'm a little jealous. But I am not gong to steal this moment from W, even if I could never trust her to do the same, because I love my kids and want them to love their mother. Her attitude and behavior are not befitting for the mother of my children, but this is not about her, it's about them.
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Oh, I have an appointment with the L on Tuesday. It's sort of ironic in that day marks day 365, one year, for me. I never would have dreamed then that not only would that day would be our last, but that a year later I would still be celibate ...and going to see a L.
