That's really interesting Amy thank you. My D18 did have two shots of MMR vaccine. One at 15 months (which was the recommended age at that time) and an extra booster when she first started school b/c there was an outbreak then (1995). All kids in UK routinely get two shots now (unless of course thier parents deny them the vaccine). So maybe now it is time to give them an extra booster when they finish thier compulsory education at 16 (or whatever age that is elsewhere).
She is in a great deal of pain right now in her neck where the glands are swollen and in her head. She has managed to get some sleep though so that I'm sure will help with her recovery. I just hope she is well enough to do her exams in 3 weeks time. Without those she can't fulfil her dream of being a pharmacist.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Can't tell you how much that added to my self esteem BUT it's brought with it feelings of letting my M down b/c I REALLY liked him. It wasn't even a slow dance and there certainly wasn't anymore to it than that but it definately got the old hormones and endorphins a flowin When we were all sat in the bar in the early hours of the morning we were joined by a man who was on a stag night. He assumed me and this 'handsome man' were married. When we said we had only met that evening he said 'Well your body language says different!' Mmmm must learn to keep that under control
It will wear off I know but it's all adding to the confusion that I am feeling right now.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Alison, listen to those hormones cos they are telling you something that others have told you many times during your battle. Sometimes we hang on way past sensible or rational because we are scared, no one will want us, our H was the only real love. We hang on for grim death to a marriage we didn,t actually have but thought we had or could have. We hang on to a possession or an ideal not reality. I,m not saying you did this, but obviously others find you attractive and fun and maybe you can see a life after H? You both must have been relaxed in each others company for the guy to say that. So good for you I know these events don't happen all the time but its a lovely feeling to hold onto. Maybe you will end up even happier than before and wonder why on earth you caused yourself (H is included in that too) so much heartache. This is not what we wanted but it is up to us to be the best we can be and find happiness in how we proceed with life. Your kids will see it to and I am sure will be happier for it. Good for you ps did you swap numbers or is he already in your group? ok I,m just nosey
I know you are right Naej. I think that's what is causing all the confusion. I know I am 'worthy' of someone's love I'm just not sure I am ready to receive it yet.
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did you swap numbers or is he already in your group
Unfortuantely the answer to both those questions is no! I'm not bold enough to ask for man's number (and may never be) and he didn't ask for mine. He is part of the wider UK audience for SPICE but not my local group. There is potential for me to see him again at other events but the probability is quite small as there are so many members. Besides he was probably way to young for me! I know he is over 30 but I suspect not much over. I know he wants kids (as he and his ex W didn't have any) so all things considered an over 40 year old with 3 teenage kids is unlikely to be on his wish list
On the subject of being relaxed in each other's company we were BUT he seemed very relaxed in women's company generally. He certainly seemed to have enough flocking round him (which is why I was so shocked but secretly pleased that it was me he asked to dance!).
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Don,t underestimate yourself! and just don,t mention the kids til after he said I DO--- no only jokin but you now know you are worthy. And being seen in his company will have done your street cred no harm at all with the other blokes who were there, so take your toothbrush next time! Oh I,m in a silly mood today and trying to live vicariousy-must be the fantastic weather we are having sunshine has that effect on me.
I spoke to S15 earlier. I haven't seen him for nearly a week what with being away and now D18 not well.
I asked him if he had any credit on his phone. I assumed not as he never answers my TMs or calls. He said no he hadn't. I asked if that was b/c H hadn't given him his pocket money yet. He said he had. I could tell he was holding something back so I made a joke about him spending it all at once on something stupid. He eventually told me that H took him to the disused airfield to have another go at driving. He said he had to pay something towards it. I asked him how much. He then admitted that H had made him pay the entire £15 admission fee b/c he had paid for the petrol to get there!
WTF I was so angry. He has just stopped £188 of my maintenance and yet he is making S15 pay for what should've been a treat. I didn't make him pay for himself when I took him the other week, neither did I charge him petrol money! I was so cross that later I TMd S15 back to say I would give him that money back the next time I saw him. I know I shouldn't have done but it just made my blood boil.
Later I was on the phone to my mum as she had called to see how D18 was. Whilst I was on the phone H called D18 on her mobile and asked her to ask me if I wanted D12 to go stay with him whilst D18 was ill! I said there was no need but if D12 wanted to go that was fine (of course I knew she would say no). According to the doctor D18 has been infectious (without knowing it) for at least 2 weeks so if anyone else is going to get it the damage is probably done already. Is he really so desperate for money that he has to think of ways to take the children off me so that he doesn't have to pay maintenance? He must think I was born yesterday.
I want my fantasy land back I don't like this real world anymore
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
This morning on my way to work I suddenly thought s*d H I'm going to D him for adultery! Why should I let public records show that I either agreed to it or that the split was due to my behaviour.
I haven't acted on this as it really did come out of nowhere. I just thought that it was interesting b/c this is the first time in 2.5yrs that I have even thought about this. Looks like I am turning a corner.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Hi ACJ!!!!! I have been away for the last couple of weeks, and just caught up on your sitch! Partying with a handsome, young man can only do good for one's bruised ego, IMO! I say, party on! You are still young, and have so much to offer the right guy.
As for your H .... good grief, he needs to grow up and be a man and father, for real! Perhaps you should talk to your L, and get the full maintenance owed you, and not this wishy-washy, what he thinks you should have cr*p! I see the hand of OW in this (I am sure she would love to see you and the kids disappear into the horizon, taking with you as little as possible .... don't give her that .... you are still his W, and he still has responsibilities as a father which he knowlingly took on ... you didn't force him to marry you and have a family, and now he wants out, but he still has to pay the piper). Perhaps, being tough might shake his tree some, and wake him up. Being nice and understanding sure hasn't.
Ugh! Not sure if my advice is sound ... I was very tough on my H, and didn't beat about the bush one bit. But, he never left our home, so I never had to deal with a physical separation, or OW being in my kids' lives. What I did, worked, but who knows what will, and what won't. And now, three years down the line, I still don't know if I should've even fought for my M. Eek!!!!
Anyway, I know that things work out the way they should, especially if we do all we can to do the right thing. Here's a quote that I found helped me along the way: “Sometimes we stare so long at a door that is closing that we see too late the one that is open.” - Alexander Graham Bell
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I suddenly thought s*d H I'm going to D him for adultery
That is one heck of a corner to turn, and I think you should too. Then maybe he can see things for what they truly are. You go, Girl!!!!!!
Take care.
Last edited by BeingMe; 05/07/0808:33 PM.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
When we were all sat in the bar in the early hours of the morning we were joined by a man who was on a stag night. He assumed me and this 'handsome man' were married. When we said we had only met that evening he said 'Well your body language says different!' Mmmm must learn to keep that under control 
