Pregnant and heading for acceptance #2

[blindsided1]

Forrest - I am trying to immerse myself in busy work, believe me. But, you are right, the alone time, any alone time gets me thinking about my H and missing him.

Jenny - I understand that this is how it is right now and there is nothing I can do to change H. I am working through it and really trying to refocus on other things.

ST - I understand what you are saying about forgiveness. Regardless of what my H has done or how he has hurt me, I DO still love him. That is exactly the reason it is soooo hard. It would be much easier if I just could stop loving him and missing him. Sad to say, but sometimes when I'm really upset, I ask for this. It's extremely hard to love someone who doesn't love you and who has pretty much stopped caring about you, too.

Tonight was a little tough. I went and had dinner with my in-laws and my brother in-law and his girlfriend. I'm close to all of them. It's really hard for me to ask questions about H. He was there last night. I was supposed to go over last night and I didn't because I was tired. I didn't know if H would be there or not, but I'm kind of glad that I didn't go. I didn't have to see him and "their" dog that he brought to show off. I refrained from starting any conversation that pertained to my H. Even though I know that his family supports me, they are still HIS family. My FIL was saying that he was going to have to stop calling the OW bimbo when he meets her. I am NOT happy about OW meeting my in-laws, but I know there is nothing I can do about that. This is one of those things that I will have to accept. I hate it though.