You vented, the artichoke steamed, the pressure cooker spluttered.. You're human!
My new twist is to have zero zip zilch expectation when it comes to "Kevin". It makes disappointment almost a thing of the past. When I do that, I have the opportunity to feel rather than react.
For example, even though I want to see a co-parenting counselor because I think it would be the best for the kids and help me with my trust issues with him, he absolutely refuses.
Okay, I'll try talking to him on the phone, 15 minutes about the kids on a weekly basis. He called, I couldn't do it. Granted I had the stress about my dad and the kids were around, but talking to him just felt icky.
With zero expectations, I didn't worry about what he was going to say or do. I was surprised at my reaction, something I never would have had if I was busy tugging the rope with him. It gives me something to work on to grow and be better. Just because my inner soul finds him icky now doesn't mean I can feed that and lose a chance to be there for my kids.
