My H talks to ex-gf by email every couple of months- I have snooped and found that their convo's are not inappropriate- in fact they're rather boring- however, he never tells me anything about them, and gets angry if I ask (cause then he knows I snooped)-- in his eyes, he doesn't have to tell me every time he talks to a friend-- and these are convos that they could easily have in front of me-- so maybe some people just want to know that you can give them that space-- just food for thought-
I'm sorry, Confused, but that just seems naive to me. Why would we want to provide a wayward spouse with "space," when they're cheating on us? To build some sort of unilateral-disarmament "trust"?
Snooping has its place, IF you can handle it. It can help you understand what you're dealing with initially. It can confirm contact when your spouse has promised you NO contact, and your personal boundary is at stake. It can help you protect your finances, and your kids.
I just don't understand this universal orthodoxy of "all snooping is bad" that I read on this forum. It seems to be the only infidelity forum where this is preached so universally.
