Quote: Have you and your H discussed WHY the things you want him to do can't be "him"?
it is not that they are not "him" they are just not him on a consistant basis...he is capable...just not the natural way he is lest the mood strikes him I guess..
Quote: And - when you talk about ethnicity I'm not sure which one you're talking about - Hispanic?? Are you Hisp, too?
no, h is italian...I am well...a mutt..american if you will.
Quote: I imagine, perhaps more than some other cultures, showing affection in any way other than being the big macho provider is looked on as being a wuss.??
or whipped...or she's in control etc...but then h isn't all that macho about it...I don't really know.
Quote: He might need a little perspective adjustment there - some macho male role models who are "secure enough" in their manhood that they can say "ILY" and send flowers and call their Ws during the day, etc. etc. I can see where those things might be tough for ANY guy...
you and I would call it an attitude adjustment...he would call it us wanting him to "change" and that word has a negative connotation somehow.
the speaker listener idea sounds great...actually I try to do that with h...let him be heard...not interupt and then speak my peace let him know what I "heard" but somehow it all gets out of hand...hopefully the c will be able to help us...
