Pregnant and heading for acceptance #2

[blindsided1]

I know that is not forgiving. That is the point. I don't know how I'm supposed to forgive him without agreeing with his choices. I feel that in order to truly forgive him, I have to say it's okay what he did. Maybe I just don't know HOW to forgive him. Someone explain how you forgive them without accepting what they did as "okay". Because I don't understand. I am struggling to understand why he did what he did. Everyone keeps saying he's an alien or he's hurting or he's sick. He KNOWS he hurt people, he KNEW he would. But, it didn't matter to him. He wanted what he wanted and he was going to get it at any cost. And, I could even go so far as to say that I understand that he was hurting and that may have caused him to hurt others. But, he has made no attempt at repairing the damage he has done. I'm just confused about how to forgive while still hurting inside.

Don't get me wrong, I want to forgive him. It does not feel good to be angry and mad and disgusted with someone you love. I don't know how to find that peace. I am finding some peace in other areas of this horrible sitch. But, the forgiveness part is really, really hard.