I think I'm approaching a crossroads. I'm not sure if it is acceptance or if I am finally falling out of love with H. To be honest it's a bit (no a lot) scary.
It may well be b/c I have told H I will agree to a D that I have nothing to 'fight' for anymore. Who knows. I just know that I am confused about what it is that I actually want right now.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Just found out that D18 has suspected mumps. She certainly looks as if she has. Because she was vaccinated as a baby the doctor has sent off a blood sample to double check. Due to the vaccination her symptoms shouldn't be as severe as if she hadn't been (or as dangerous).
She is panicking b/c she only has 3 weeks to go before her big exams and isn't allowed to go to college or work for a week. When I rang to let college know I asked them to ask her teachers for some work to be passed home so that she doesn't feel that she is missing too much at this vital time.
I TMd H to tell him. He has just phoned back to see how she is. Interestingly he phoned home rather than my mobile (I assume on the off chance that I would be here). For the first time in ages he sounded concerned and caring and quite happy to speak to me. Now I'm even more confused than before. I asked if he wanted to speak to D18 and he said yes as he was going to ring her mobile next (bit bizarre as surely he should have expected her to be at home and not me!).
The other 2 kids have also been vaccinated so hopefully will be alright. I haven't as it wasn't around when i was a child so will have to wait and see what happens there.
I know this is v. negative thinking but I almost feel like this is my 'punishment' for having such a good time at the weekend.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
The other 2 kids have also been vaccinated so hopefully will be alright. I haven't as it wasn't around when i was a child so will have to wait and see what happens there.
I know this is v. negative thinking but I almost feel like this is my 'punishment' for having such a good time at the weekend.
Alison,
I think I've posted to you before, but it's been quite a while. Sorry to hear about your daughter's illness. Isn't it rare that she would get mumps even with a childhood vaccination---have the doctors said how that happens?
I think I'm a queen of negative thinking, so I do know how you feel, but please don't look at your daughter's illness as a punishment for having a good weekend trip.
Instead, why not look at the illness as something that would have happened anyway, but your weekend away has changed the way you will be able to deal with it. Look at the PMA that came about from your trip as positive preparation for a stressful situation. Since you've had the chance to go away and rest and relax and be rejuvenated, you're now rested up well enough to easily handle the situation!
I hope your daughter is well soon, and everyone else stays well!
Me:40, xH:41 M:19 T:21 D14, S10, D6 IDLYA bomb:12/22/06 OW bomb (21 yr. old employee):12/23/06 H move out 2/07, OW move in 5/07 D papers served 6/07 D final Nov. 26, 08 :-(
Thanks TP, Yes it is unusual for someone who has been vaccinated to still get the disease but a vaccination can never confer 100% protection. She is just so run down from studying for her final exams and working. Add into that the stress of our family life right now and it's no wonder that at least one of us has succombed.
thank you for offering an alternative way of thinking about my weekend.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Alison, I would expect your H to be pleasant to you now you have agreed a D. He feels he no longer has to treat you like the enemy or that by being nice it will give you false hope that he is coming back. However this may not last once you get down to the nitty gritty financial details. Hope your d picks up soon.
Alison, I would expect your H to be pleasant to you now you have agreed a D. He feels he no longer has to treat you like the enemy or that by being nice it will give you false hope that he is coming back.
Yes I partially expected it too. It just threw me for a minute b/c it was almost like the last 2.5yrs hadn't happened.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
