I think this is where I belong.

[Bworl]

MMF,
No worries, I was not thinking you were disagreeing. Just wanted to continue the conversation. You posted some interesting stuff.

And Jack, know that I was not belittling anyone who does feel the MLC is an illness. I walked in that camp for some time myself, and it certainly would not be unfair to say that my opinions today are colored by my own experiences.

I really think the reality of all this is that however you feel about MLC, it really should not affect what is in your heart to do in response to your spouses actions.

I know that some want to know the odds are good before they commit themselves to a long stand. Personally I think that's hedging your bets - something I think would be off the table when dealing with something as significant as your marriage.

You hold on to the possibility of healing for as long as you think it still exists. We each have to decide that on it's own. I think it was Jeff223 who first told me that each of us should have to EARN the right to give up our stand. That kind of idea resonates with me.

It's up to you and me to decide when we've earned that right. No one else gets to make that decision. But if we're really people of integrity, we don't need someone watching us and letting us know when that time is - we will know.

Great conversation. I hope it helps Jay in some way.


I'll close with this Jay. If you took your marriage vows seriously, if you truly meant "in sickness and in health, for better or worse, till death do us part," it seems to me that there ought to be some labor involved, some hard work, some painful work even, before we are ready to pronounce the marriage dead.

And by the way, it was NOT the act of infidelity that signaled the death of my marriage.


Blessings,

Bill