I know that the OM in my sitch is a complete opposite. Hunter, fisher, country music lovin' goob(no offense to country music lovers). He writes like he never made it out of high school.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
I know that the OM in my sitch is a complete opposite. Hunter, fisher, country music lovin' goob(no offense to country music lovers). He writes like he never made it out of high school.
I wonder if that happens a lot that they go for the opposite. The OW in my case is my total opposite. I've worked on the issues that I think are important for me to work on, but I don't want to change myself into the OW, in fact I don't want to be anything like her I hope! But I am working on being the best I can be. And if my H wants someone like the OW in his life instead of me, then so be it and good luck to him (b/c he will need it)!!! Karen
Karen IMHO if she has already been divorced a "couple" of times and your H isn't pushing for a divorce, maybe he realizes that they are doomed to fail from the start.
Corey
Thanks Corey! Yes, I think if my H was logical & rational he would prob. realize that the affair is doomed (as most are). But I think a lot of our WAS aren't logical and rational, and really just the opposite. I was just talking to someone recently who was talking to my H in the early stages of his affair, and they said they couldn't believe my H was a lawyer, he was talking so delusional and dumb about divorce and all.
He used to say stuff like after divorce he would have more money (just now is realizing that won't be true), more time, everything would be better, just basically he was in fantasyland. I think eventually, if not now, he will realize that relationship is doomed, but I guess it takes time, getting to know the OW and seeing that she's not perfect, and getting over MLC a bit in my H's case, etc. Karen
everything would be better, just basically he was in fantasyland. I think eventually, if not now, he will realize that relationship is doomed, but I guess it takes time, getting to know the OW and seeing that she's not perfect, and getting over MLC a bit in my H's case, etc.
Mine too. They have the rose colored glasses on and EVERYTHING looks better, but they have to realize this in their own time. Sommetimes its quickly, but more often than not they are slow learners. I know mine is. He knows that being at home is the best choice, he just doesn't WANT to be there. Ok, so don't be there, but know I won't wait forever...
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I think that is it. It is the complete opposite because they think that, well, maybe I'm not happy because of this so I'll try this completely different thing. Their thinking is flawed. I think I have posted before that for your H to be a lawyer, he sure says some stupid things.
Thanks for stopping by my thread. You are an inspiration to many others on here.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
OW in my sitch did jail time for DUI (and evading arrest -- ran away from her home and kids for 6 months), is a former cocaine addict, is a drunk, can't hold a job, and is really a hard-looking, unattractive woman!
Joie, that is horrible-it sounds like yours gets the award! I just don't understand why our spouses would even be interested in some of these OP!!!
My H emailed me today that he wants me to send a list of all the bills we are currently paying and my student loans--so it sounds like he will take that info to his L and file for divorce? I just think he prob. doesn't want to be married maybe to anyone & is enjoying the single life so I guess he wants to keep it up. I've been trying to prepare myself for this, but don't know if I'm ready!!! Karen
I think that is it. It is the complete opposite because they think that, well, maybe I'm not happy because of this so I'll try this completely different thing. Their thinking is flawed. I think I have posted before that for your H to be a lawyer, he sure says some stupid things.
Thanks for stopping by my thread! Yes, I agree with everything you say H4H. And I think the problem is they can't really find someone else to make them happy, you kind of have to do that yourself! Karen
I know that I wasn't ready. We had told each other that we would talk about stuff before either of us did anything. Then he just went ahead and did it. The walls came down around me, but I am still here. I wish this affair was something I could just unplug and drop in a bucket of water but I can't. I think with the hearing tomorrow I am just too focused on him and I need to stop for right now. kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I know that I wasn't ready. We had told each other that we would talk about stuff before either of us did anything. Then he just went ahead and did it. The walls came down around me, but I am still here. I wish this affair was something I could just unplug and drop in a bucket of water but I can't. I think with the hearing tomorrow I am just too focused on him and I need to stop for right now. kat
Kat, I think that's so awful that your H just went ahead and did it! If I was going to be the one filing for divorce ever, I know I would want to tell the person and let them know they're going to be served and when and everything. I think some of our H's and W's don't have a sensitivity chip or something. I think my H will do the same thing, though, figuring that I should already know since he has told me he wants a divorce and is getting the money info from me.
I feel the same way about my H's affair, but I also think my H has almost been living like a single person the last couple years going out and about whenever he wanted, so I think he wants to make it official though. Doesn't want the family responsibilies or whatever anymore, just the fun. I wonder if he will think it's fun to be old and alone though?
Of course with a hearing tomorrow you're going to be focused on your H!!! I hope you are trying to take as easy a day as you can today, try to do something relaxing (as relaxed as you can get I guess)! I think I will be joining you soon, too! Karen
But I am working on being the best I can be. 
And if my H wants someone like the OW in his life instead of me, then so be it and good luck to him (b/c he will need it)!!! 
I just don't understand why our spouses would even be interested in some of these OP!!! 
I've been trying to prepare myself for this, but don't know if I'm ready!!! Karen 
If I was going to be the one filing for divorce ever, I know I would want to tell the person and let them know they're going to be served and when and everything. I think some of our H's and W's don't have a sensitivity chip or something. I think my H will do the same thing, though, figuring that I should already know since he has told me he wants a divorce and is getting the money info from me. 