Changing myself for myself

[Firekeeper]

he started to engage me again with some conversation - i told him that i can't look at him. i didn' t want to cry in front of him and i knew if he will persist talking it will be a close call. he became not as engaging.

i am now trying to anticipate mother's day. our son graduating the same day. i do not want to have my husband even to say "happy mother's day" or give me a card. because he was sexual w/ow for the 1st time on the mothers day last year.

i think that i tell him that i do not want anything from him on this day. may be he doesn't want to give anything anyway. but i do not want to be put in situation of having him do something for me on this day. it would be painful enough as it is.