I have to let go of h

[sage]

LL -- arrgh. C sure sounds rough. You guys are both really brave to do it....

h doesn't seem to hear anything but he's not doing enough..

h's defense only serves to tell me that I'm nuts and he doesn't really care.

it's all just so stupid..we do care..we do love eachother...I just want a tad more affection right now.

I don't understand the leap between #1 and #2 here...(maybe they're not supposed to be related?). H's response to your statements...the feeling that he's "not doing enough" is pretty classic...he feels like he's trying, he's telling you that he is, and it still "isn't enough"...my h has told me that he felt as though he could never make me happy and so he gave up...I dunno...I hear you say that you're telling h you appreciate what he does and want something slightly different...he's very sensitive to the "something different"...what's up with that.

About the leap to #2...he ain't telling you you're nuts and that he doesn't care! ... you know that ... I don't think he knows HOW to love LL the way she wants to be loved??

I like #3...reinforces what your C said...you both want the same thing...just struggling with the communication of it all...

Looking forward to reading those 3 positives!

Sage