I apologize for what will be a blatant thread hi-jack, but I confess that the "MLC: Mental Illness or Not" debate is of interest to me, so I want to share some thoughts based on what MMF posted.
By the way, these are MY opinions and only that. And I will openly state that I am NOT an expert on mental illness.
Mental illnesses are medical conditions that disrupt a person’s thinking, feeling, mood, ability to relate to others, and daily functioning.
My thoughts here are that my ex's abilities in this area appeared to be diminished only in relation to me. She certainly continued to function just fine at work and with her new circle of friends. As with much of this MLC mess, it seems the only one who truly gets the impaired treatment is the LBS and anyone who disagrees with what they are doing.
Mental illnesses are biologically based brain disorders. They cannot be overcome through "will power" and are not related to a person's "character" or intelligence.
So if this is the case with MLC, these spouses who have chosen to return home and make ammends for their wandering ways could only have done so through significant medical treatment. I don't recall that being mentioned very often. So my conclusion is to ask, is MLC a biologically based brain disorder? I don't think so.
The DSM-IV lists "social or vocational impairment" as a criterion in nearly all the major mental illnesses, and with good reason--otherwise, every perturbation of the person's emotional life becomes an illness.
Again, my take here is that the impaired ability socially or vocationally only seems to apply when the MLC'er is dealing with the spouse or someone who disagrees with them. These people for the most part hold down jobs, interact socially with people, in some cases even continue to care for children.
In addition, clinicians look for a recognizable pattern of signs and symptoms; a familial or genetic predisposition; an expectable or predictable course; and, in some cases, a predictable response to treatment, as general features of what we would call a disease, illness or disorder.
I guess we see some of these things in MLC. There is certainly some commonality in the behaviors and comments. If there is any familial predisposition, it seems like it would only be in the sense of learned behavior, not in an inherited "condition" so to speak. The real failing here I believe is that there is certainly no predictable response to treatment. In fact, I'm not familiar with any treatment for this disease.
Again, just my thoughts, but I think it's worthwhile to kick this around in debate.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
