Supermom and the Brighter Tomorrow

[JennyF]

I am curious...if your H were to say to you that he would like to come back and work on the M, would you be willing to take him back now?

Kerry...it's interesting that you ask this today of all days. I just got back from signing my financial statement at my lawyers. I will give them the go ahead to proceed with contacting his lawyer tomorrow.
I've been emotional today...the truth is, I do not want a divorce. As ready as I am to accept today's reality and move on with my life...I don't want a divorce.

My answer to your question is...I don't know. With each day that passes I am getting more confident in myself and the fact that I am ok and will be ok, no matter what. But deep down, I do still love him and I do still believe that he is VERY messed up. Especially after the weekend and the OW info I received...it's proof positive for sure. But all that does is leave me still wondering if there is a chance he will come out if it.
If came to me today and said it was all a mistake and he wanted to work on things, I would say this..."Let's start over".
I mean right from the start. I would tell him that he has to figure out what is going on inside of himself that drove him to all of this before there could ever be a chance for us. I would put a D on hold. I would put selling the house on hold. But I wouldn't let him move back in right away. We would start as friends and then see if dating is even a possibility.
I would try to be there as a friend for him and would have to see over time if...
A) He truly realizes, admits and accepts the repurcussions of his actions and is willing to do what it takes to make it right (if possible) and
B) Could I actually get over and truly forgive him for what he's done. Not sure about this one.
Having said that...there is nothing I wouldn't do for my kids and I think I would want to give a try for them. And who knows, maybe one day I can tell them that I gave their Dad the second chance of a lifetime and we came out of it better for it.

But that's today. I may feel differently in a couple weeks...or a couple months...or a couple years...depending on when/if he decides to wake up.

I just briefly read some of your sitch and find it interesting that your W is suddenly having some second thoughts. I hope my H realizes that the grass isn't greener sooner than later.

blindsided and gabbysmom...thanks for the posts.
Gotta go change a diaper and pick up D from pre-school!
J~