I am totally aware that I am allowing my H to take advantage of me and manipulate me. I feel really torn in many directions. Part of me wants to stand up and tell him where he can shove his staying out all night and the other part of me is scared that he will run away and never return if I do that. I know the way things stand right now, he is able to go out all night and then come back home and say some magic words to me and we will go out to eat and have a nice time. At least he knows that I am not happy about it and I feel abandoned. He seemed shocked when I said something about how abandoned I feel.
I meet with the lawyer in a 1/2 hour. I am scared. My stomach is hurting. I feel sick. I hope I don't cry. I hope the woman understands that I haven't made any decisions right now. I just want information. I hope she doesn't try to get me to make a decision for divorce quickly. I don't want any pressure. I just want my questions answered. This has to be one of the scariest things I have ever done.
Sara
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
