Finding DB late in the game #4

[cw68]

Was it a real "dobson letter?" Meaning did it come from your heart?

I'm not sure what led to this other than the last nine months of discomfort/hell. All I know is that I had to let it out. In all honesty, I thought that after I sent it I would regret it. For an hour I had the email drafted and didn't hit send. H called during this time to ask me if the road to the airport was closed b/c he didn't know if construction on it had started yet (something he could have easily found out himself) and I told him I had an email here that I didn't know if I should send or not. He told me to go with my instincts. Instincts said to fire it off and with it would go a lot of my angst. That it did. Like I have so many times before, I was driving in the car and thought, "My marriage is over." but this time it didn't rock me. My stomach didn't drop. I was very matter-of-fact with it.

I didn't want my email to be the last communication of the day, so I sent a simple text after filling up my car, which was on fumes. Said, "over 55 bucks to fill up. f*ck" and he responded that he's glad he didn't get the Range Rover and that I was right, it would have been a stupid move. (For two years he wanted a Range Rover and I was against it.) Then added that he got bumped to first class on his b-day and that he read the email. Said he wasn't trying to avoid it, just busy, on the plane right now and will respond when he's sleepless tonight. I think my instinct was OK today and I didn't screw everything up. Admittedly, I told a few steps back for sure, but it kept me from falling off a cliff.