I know you don't listen to me, but I will give my 2 cents.
YARD- What's wrong with having his employee do the work. What's wrong with just grass, get rid of all the fancy stuff that requires so much care. Set a time limit on the yard, make agreement with H yard will be 7 hours a week. I think he is using the yard to avoid spending time with you.
BUSINESS- Most entrepuor sp cannot transition to a bigger business, they get to involved in the details and end up wasting time and spending too much time at the job, because they feel they need to control everything. He needs to hire a manger for the business. Needs to think as a manager and say can this activity I am doing be done cheaper by my employee. As far as the estimates, a local salesman can easily do that for a commission. He is the typical male who defines his identity by his work. Make agreement to he be home by 6pm, and you are willing to have less money because of that. He needs to be more efficient of his time. Again he is using the work to avoid spending time with you.
NIGHT OUT-Once a week night out, let him know in advance when and where and continue to let him know during the week, so his excuses are mute. When he says he don't feel like it, tell him tough you need a night out. He needs to move out of he comfort zone.
OLD SELF- It sounds like he is slipping into his old patterns, and needs a wake up call. You may be enabling this.
LOVE TANK-A "marriagebuilders.com" it talks about the love tank concept, this is way out of H's comfort zone, but it might help him realize why he is failing, if he was doing daily love tank checks.
