Quote: having SOMETHING to look forward to is important for ALL of us. So talk it out with him again. Talk until you both get to a place where your needs are met. It IS possible if you don't give up.
the fact that I haven't give up is ever evident in the fact that I first married h and then took him back after he left me...
h knows WE need to have some time to look forward to and is trying to make it happen...even if it's just a night a week (like last fri when he brought home a video) he is under so much stress right now and talks about looking for the light at the end of the tunnel (re work being busy) so now is not really a good time to open up that discussion...as I do know right now h simply looks forward to comming home at the end of the day.
Quote: I don't know what your H's business is, just that he runs his own business. Does he have training in running his own business? Sounds like he might be nearing a point where he needs to hire some help. Would he be willing to learn how to delegate? How to trust himself to hire someone that he would trust?
h runs a landscaping company...started it himself at 19...no real training in running a business but has blossomed from owning one truck and borrowing equiptment (and having me help out) to owning 4 trucks and two garages full of equiptment and 8 employees...
there are some things h delegates ie...certain crews are responsible for their task..he makes the "list" for them and they get it done (he hopes) some he contracts out. but the bulk of the running of the show is left to h...he is the main man..there are things he and only he does...partly because that's the way he wants it (good pr to have the actual business owner meet with you for estimates etc.) and partly because the employees don't want that responsibility. it is a lot for him...I offer to help where I can...I used to do some of his billing for him but that got passed on to new sil while I was preg with dd.
who knows perhaps someday he'll be able to delegate out more but for now "this is the way it is"
Quote: Anyway, just a thought. I guess I'm at that MLC place where you have made lots of mistakes and now realize that, even though you never ever believed that way, you have let work and money and finances come between you and the only things you've ever thought were important in life - your FAMILY!
way back when, probably just as h was starting to talk to ow as more than a customer..h sat on the deck one night asking me to rate him as a h...pointing out the things that he does...h gave work or rather being the provider 70% of being a good h...I couldn't accept that and tried to explain...h also wanted 20% for the yard work..but I had to take some of that away becuase I too cared for the yard (before the irrigation system went in it was me who was out there turning on the sprinklers at different intervals every day)
anyway back to the point...
when h first started to come home...he expressed wanting to be around for the kids more..wanting that family time more...feeling bad about not having been around much...sheesh he was lucky to realize it then..his kids are just babies...but then the spring rolled in and wham...daddy gets sucked away again...h expresses his displeasure with being so busy frequently now and though that doesn't eliminate the problem it does let me know he's aware of it.
h has been doing a lot of complaining lately...about being busy...about some customers that are giving him flack...about not having enough time in the day to get it all done...(I offer to help in anyway I can but h says there's really nothing for anyone to do..he's just gotta get through it all) I'm doing my best to not complain about it...knowing that it will end and there will be days when h is home long before all the 9-5r's are...patience...what makes it hard is all that happend...but that is the past and that is where I must leave it.
so then three possitives for today????
1. it stopped raining!! at least for a little while the sun is shining.
2. I'm painting the master bathroom (getting rid of the dark blue, h said he felt like he was in a kids bathroom...and actually I agreed..it was just fun for a bit but I wasn't thrilled with it anymore either..so now it's cream and more fitting for a master bath)
3. even though my kids drive me nuts they are cute as hell!!
4. oh ya...h did come home after all didn't he! (so don't listen to your was when they tell you "I'm never comming home", "this is what I want", "I never loved you that way", "I want a d" , "I'm in love with the op" see...they changed their mind about you once...they can certainly do it again!)
