Confused no longer - Give me the strength

[Snow White]

He does smoke players though....but she smokes too, not sure what.

Then assume that they are her brand as well. I know it's easier said than done, Neecy, but try not to worry about it. It will only drive you crazier. In fact, I can see that it already is.

You are 100% right, I was feeling calm, when I sat with the work counsellor last week she said that this was the calmest I have been since this whole thing started. I actually thought I had finally dropped the rope. And then I saw the phone bill and to me it showed that this is all about her, and I lost it completely. And you know all week I was down, and it flipped to angry.

It is making me crazy. So many people on here have spouses that say, they don't love them or never did, that they want OP, that they aren't happy or never were, that they want a separation, or want a divorce. At least they have a starting point to work with.

My H refuses to admit to any of those things. He states repeatedly he loves me, he always has, he wants the M but is having trouble with himself(which he can not explain), even Sunday when I asked now that we know that you are not coming home can you please discuss it with D, his response is I am coming home, but you make it so hard when you argue and I leave mad everytime. That is probably all about keeping his options open but it is so hard.