Moving toward reconciliation... I think

[new_attitude]

NA don't be complacent, but don't be a doormat either. I don't think you're going to do either.

That feeling fades with time, although it still does bite you every now and then.

Thanks Jack. It's nice to hear that the feeling fades. I am far from complacent, but also far from being a doormat. With h, I've always had a tendency to say what's on my mind, so I've been working on doing that in a constructive way.

Upside, peace, ST - Thanks for the encouragement. I appreciate it so much.

I spent a little time looking through some of my old threads for my goals (just a little time, because it was too depressing...)
Here is what I posted last July (current comments in BOLD print):

1. My main goal is to trust H, but I know that is not action-oriented enough. I think I need help with what I can do to reach this goal. Still here, but getting a little better, I think

2. H and I will talk about the future together, including financial issues, and make plans beyond next week. Goal met!

3. I'll be calmer, more patient and will work at reducing stress. Get back into a walking routine. I can honestly say that I'm a much calmer and more patient person these days, although I occassionally lose my cool. I need to keep doing what is working.

4. H and I will be more affectionate, kiss each other goodbye, give hugs, touches. Goal met! We're not as affectionate as I would like in all ways, so I guess that's the makings for a new goal.

5. We will sleep in the same bed every night. Almost there. He's zonked out on the couch some nights, but is usually in bed. He has not spent the night at the condo since he told me he was moving home.

Now I have to find my short-term me-oriented goals. I know they're around here somewhere...