I agree w/ you and I'm much better at not getting so angry at W. However, I do allow myself to be human and feel when I am hit w/ the arrows that she slings my way - like the letters filled w/ hearsay from her parents and family. Those hurt. These were from my extended family that I still love very much. They treated me as one of their own and now they've turned on me w/ a ton of venom. I realize they feel the need to do so to protect their daughter and by not doing so, they'd be telling their blood member they think she's lying to them. However, it does hurt and stings badly.
What I am better at doing is not acting right away on my feelings. I fought the urge to contact her parents and family and tell my side of the tale. I allowed myself to cool down and sort things out before I even spoke w/ my L. I'm doing the same things w/ my W when she sends angry e-mails. I don't respond to her that same day, unless I absolutely have to do so. This allows me to be angry and work things out before I pop off to W and do or say something I will come to regret or that will come back to bite my in the rear.
This is where I've been able to calm my anger and turn it into understanding. It is difficult to do, but I've been able to pull it off thus far and it works.
