I wish I had positive news, I really do, it just seems to be this is where I am at, and there's a reason for it too. I know I am to learn from this, become stronger, and I hope and pray that this will lead to a happy ending.
My misery is knowing I have a child in pain, and not being able to protect him. Although, once again, he is learning, gaining his own strength, and I am so proud of him for the way he is handling the situation.
Right now, Dick is in the "honeymoon" phase, he has his anger in control/check, while trying to show S why he should stay in CA. As long as S doesn't mention anything about coming home, Dick seems happy and life in the house stays on an even keel. In a way, S feels he can keep this situation going until the day he leaves for KS and the hearing, where he will tell the Judge exactly what he wants. The poor kid remembers now why he used to be so afraid of his Father when he was young, as heartbreaking that was for me to hear from him, but he says that more importantly, he says he remembers how we used to "dance" around Dick to keep him/things calm.
I can't tell you of the guilt I've had since hearing this from S, I just didn't realize the damage I caused from the decisions I had made from so long ago. I'm trying to use this situation to give me strength in order to bring my son home, and give us the life we deserve.
Anyway, there is nothing I can do about the past, but I am working on making one heck of a future.
The things we learn about ourselves during this journey outweighs the pain of the past.
Take care of you, and thanks for your concerns.
Love,
Laughing
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
