Finding DB late in the game #4

[cw68]

So I hit a breaking point today. Very anti-DBing, but a necessary letter to H. I needed to do this for me, this wasn't about our R, wasn't about him. It was about ME. There hasn't been enough focus on me recently. Everything I've been doing for me has been partnered with doing this for our R as well. Yes, I'm becoming a better person. I'm improved myself and I'm very happy that I made these decisions, these changes. But I've reached a point.

I'm detaching and I have to do it my way.

I sent him a long note following up on our conversation. Perhaps I'll kick myself later, but I don't think I have anything to lose. In the past couple of weeks I realized that we are over, that our marriage is over. I know he's not coming back, at least on the path that we were following.

It's time for me to LRT. I told him that perhaps it was time that we separated ourselves, that we should go our separate ways and he can see if losing me, losing our family is worth it. This was all done in a very loving way because I'm not doing it to be mean. I'm doing it to save our marriage. If I don't save my marriage, I have to save myself.

Until the moment I clicked "send" I had had it up to here and was just about ready to die. Sending this letter has emptied me out and I can deal with anything now.

With the verbal Dobson letter I gave him a few weeks ago and now this, I have cast off. The ropes holding my boat to the dock have been removed. I feel free and I'm just going to go where the wind takes me.