1. last night (stayed in with friend, h rested or rather feel asleep on the couch upstairs, I took it as instead of him being antisocial being there waiting to go up to sleep at the same time as me) h helped me change son and sons bed..son not doing to well on the staying dry at night. I thanked h for the help.
2. h thanked me for breakfast and gave me a nice greeting in the am.
3. despite the fact that h would rather stay home and work in the yard today this afternoon he will be joining the kids and I at a family function. (I know he's bummed, had made mention of wanting to go look at a shed tonight but alas we will be busy with the family function that somehow didn't get communicated to him) I am happy because in the past he would have opted to stay home and have the kids and I go alone.
4 (ya I know we said three but this one is a good one) this am I said..my back hurts..h said...must be getting close to that time..it is that time I said..h said sorry. (shows h is paying attention to me and knows certain schedules and signs)
I could list more but I'll rest with that.
Quote: Would he agree with that and try to give you at least a little bit of time - even if you have to do it on a "monthly" rather than a "weekly" basis
we already do get out once a month...I'm hoping to make it a bit more...as I said I'd be happy even if we didn't go out but were to stay awake here and do something...but again for right now h IS busy with work...things will settle down again soon...h expresses his frustrations with it as well.
Quote: You're doing great with the DBing. Be sure to THANK H for staying on the couch with you even when he's so tired and would probably be more comfortable in bed, and same for working on the yard. See how he responds. That can help you know if your attitude/ASSumption is correct! If you can, if it's not too much R talk, ASK him about your assumptions...."sometimes I feel like you only leave the most tired times of day for me, but then I tell myself how great it is that you're here and that you're willing to keep me company on the couch when you're really so tired..." Again, see how he responds??
in trying to explain to h my "love languages" I have also expressed what I think his are..or rather how he is currently showing me...I let him know how much I appreciate his work in the yard by helping him (and I let him know that's why I help him) by complimenting him on the great job he does, by supporting him when he's tired and frustrated...etc.
he's happier when I'm accepting and appreciative of his offerings and those times are when I am more likely to get a pat on the but or a quick hug.
of course this week it will be easier for me to be physcially affectionate with him becuase he will know that I am not seeking sex (but then again that's not totally out anyway just that I'm not expecting it)
