Hi, LL! Good job on the three things -hope you had fun out with your friend!
Ok, so here are three for me (different day, I guess new ones each day is a good idea...):
1) My husband loves me very much and has started making time even when he is tired & allergy-ridden
2) My kids are healthy and happy and (generally) well-behaved...
3) I am taking time for myself, to heal and get strong again.
That is hard to do without saying...yeah, but I don't have a job, yeah, but the house is a mess stil.....
So I won't say those things...heh, heh...
Good job about changing your assumptions. But you also do need more time with H when he is awake and energetic. Sounds like you're just getting the dregs. Would he agree with that and try to give you at least a little bit of time - even if you have to do it on a "monthly" rather than a "weekly" basis...it's SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOOOOOOO hard when you have little ones. And, it helps me to remember sometimes, that marriage is for the long haul, MOST couples are less happy with their marriages when the kids are little, and MOST couple's relationship improves as the kids get older. So if it's a couple of years of being tired and worn out, that IS sort of short in the big picture. But, boy, being stuck in this part of the big picture is sure TOUGH!
You're doing great with the DBing. Be sure to THANK H for staying on the couch with you even when he's so tired and would probably be more comfortable in bed, and same for working on the yard. See how he responds. That can help you know if your attitude/ASSumption is correct! If you can, if it's not too much R talk, ASK him about your assumptions...."sometimes I feel like you only leave the most tired times of day for me, but then I tell myself how great it is that you're here and that you're willing to keep me company on the couch when you're really so tired..." Again, see how he responds??
