Confused no longer - Give me the strength

[Sugar and Spice]

but he couldn't lie.

LOL...sorry that just strikes me as funny. Mine says things like that too. "I can't lie." I always want to say....ummm, yes you can!

You are still here and still trying to DB, so give it your best sister!

(((neecy)))

[GoingForward]

but he couldn't lie.

Poow babeee.....

So did you validate his feelings?

LOL

[Snow White]

I said nothing which was the very best that I could do.

[Snow White]

Well one of the homeowners went to cut OW's grass on Sunday and reported back that there is no way any car is parking in the garage because it is full of junk, but there are player's cigarette butts in there. (it is so nice and embarassing that everyone is on a mission now to see what is going on, I didn't ask for this.)

This means that if H is living with OW that he would have to be parking somewhere else and then she picks him up and brings him back to her place, that her 2 1/2 year old would have to take part in this trip at whatever time H shows up home, she would also have to be waiting by the phone for a text from H since there has not been a phone call everyday since he has been gone. Maybe this is unlikely. Maybe H really is just sick to hell of me and he isn't living with her.


He does smoke players though....but she smokes too, not sure what.

[GoingForward]

He does smoke players though....but she smokes too, not sure what.

Then assume that they are her brand as well. I know it's easier said than done, Neecy, but try not to worry about it. It will only drive you crazier. In fact, I can see that it already is. Not trying to be harsh. It's just an outside observation.

What are you doing for yourself this week? This evening?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

You'd be amazed at the "gymnastics" that waywards will go thru in order to continue their affairs. NOTHING would suprise me anymore.

I remember when NOP over on the SSM board told me this story about a wayward wife meeting up in a mall PARKING LOT, for crissakes, to hop into her lover's car and drive off. I scoffed at it, saying "my wife would NEVER do that -- way too proud!!"

Then came the day when I followed her, and saw her meeting up in a department store parking lot, him getting into her car where they "talked" (????) for 45 minutes during a thunderstorm, then got out and got into HIS truck, and drove off to his house.

That was the first panic attack I ever had.

Puppy

[GoingForward]

Neecy, I want you to know I am not implying that you should completely bury your head in the sand. It IS possible that the cigarette butts are H's. It IS also possible that they are OW's. Who knows, and who cares.

If he's still seeing her, it is BEYOND your control. It always has been.

Your H is out of the house living his life as he pleases.

For your own sanity, you must start focusing on living your own.

(((Hugs)))

[Snow White]

He does smoke players though....but she smokes too, not sure what.

Then assume that they are her brand as well. I know it's easier said than done, Neecy, but try not to worry about it. It will only drive you crazier. In fact, I can see that it already is.

You are 100% right, I was feeling calm, when I sat with the work counsellor last week she said that this was the calmest I have been since this whole thing started. I actually thought I had finally dropped the rope. And then I saw the phone bill and to me it showed that this is all about her, and I lost it completely. And you know all week I was down, and it flipped to angry.

It is making me crazy. So many people on here have spouses that say, they don't love them or never did, that they want OP, that they aren't happy or never were, that they want a separation, or want a divorce. At least they have a starting point to work with.

My H refuses to admit to any of those things. He states repeatedly he loves me, he always has, he wants the M but is having trouble with himself(which he can not explain), even Sunday when I asked now that we know that you are not coming home can you please discuss it with D, his response is I am coming home, but you make it so hard when you argue and I leave mad everytime. That is probably all about keeping his options open but it is so hard.

[Sugar and Spice]

My H refuses to admit to any of those things. He states repeatedly he loves me, he always has, he wants the M but is having trouble with himself(which he can not explain), even Sunday when I asked now that we know that you are not coming home can you please discuss it with D, his response is I am coming home, but you make it so hard when you argue and I leave mad everytime. That is probably all about keeping his options open but it is so hard.

(((Neecy))) I know how you feel on that one, my H says stuff like that all of the time. "When" I come home, "when" we get back together in November. Its just too much. That makes it even harder because you start to question yourself.

You can't drive yourself crazy about what he may/may not be doing. As hard as it is, GAL. Do things for you and DD and let him do his thing, because he is going to anyway. You will just find things to do for yourself. It helps and as for your posts from earlier...he doesn't live in your home, you have no obligation to explain your whereabouts, period!

[Snow White]

You can't drive yourself crazy about what he may/may not be doing. As hard as it is, GAL.

I am trying, I have committed to playing baseball this summer, I bought a new glove yesterday and the games start 2 nights a week May 21. This will be a big deal for me to get out and do this. I used to love baseball when I was younger(played from 4 till 16) and throwing the ball around yesterday with D at the park(fetching kind of like a dog :-) but she liked it) was the best I have felt in awhile and I started to get excited to play. It was even nicer throwing the ball with H but I digress because that is about us and not me. You know what it was nice for him too, he smiled and laughed and he doesn't do that anymore in my presence.