I haven't had much more to say that isn't any different than before and have been having a little trouble keeping up with the pace of your threads and still have more to catch on, but I came across this and wanted to respond:
Quoting LL: eventually h and I did hug...and h said...I know you are hurting LL and I'm sorry for that...I don't want you to hurt anymore...I am just being me...
I don't exactly know what to make of that statement other than perhaps h does love me and is showing me that he loves me and is working toward that "connection" but becuase it's not my way and because I'm waiting for my way..(and am getting it on occassion) I'm not always confident in it.
Perhaps trying to find somewhere in the middle to meet is the answer both literally and figuratively. In response, " ... I'm just being me." could be " ... and when being you includes sharing yourself with me, then I'm on top of the world and would want you to change a thing. Maybe I'm being selfish, but I just wish I can have more of you being with me."
How about suggesting a couple times a week a rendezvous at some middle location from your home and where he is working for lunch just to be together. See where you can go from there.
