I am coming off a bit of a depressive low today. Last evening was a bit of an irrational downer for me. After planning all week to go to my friend, M's, baptism last evening, in the end I got the time wrong by an hour -- instead of showing up 20 minutes early, my S's and I were shocked to find we were really 40 minutes too late.
Couple that with the rough afternoon (weekend) I had trying to get my two boys to mind me, and I feel like such a failure.
The absent-minded stupidity of missing the baptism after planning it for months now is so discouraging -- that should have been something only the "old me" would have done. That is supposed to be something I have overcome. Driving home I got so despondent thinking about how I could have made so stpid a mistake, and how I don't seem to be able to keep my two hyperactive boys under reasonable control.
Part of me just wants to run away (I know I can't and won't). I began wondering whether I was really fit to be someone's father or not. Am I just kidding myself? Maybe S7 and S3 would be better off without me?
