did you know I am partly responsible for your name?? there was a phrase slowlee slowlee catchee monkee...I took that and dubbed my h silly monkee...that was taken and turned into silly alien monkey...ta da....sam was born...just thought I'd share that.
Quote: I wonder what would happen if you DID stop doing so much for him? Stop making his lunches, stop begging for dates - don't always be there when he is there, ask him to watch the kids during the day on the weekend so you can go do something...this seems like the fun part of DBing, in some ways...
ok, well let's see it could go many different ways...since h works during the week and often doesn't arrive home til 7pmish....dd is already in bed by that point..son is off to bed at 8 (or as he says eight and two zeros) it is possible for me to go out and do my own thing at that time...infact this past mon night I took off and went to see the matrix by myself...h understood that I just needed to get out...was a tad reluctant in my leaving right away (simply because he had some things he wanted to do in the yard) but I told him it would be the difference between a 7:45 show or a 9:45 show and that I'd prefer the earlier...so off I went and came home to h asleep in bed...didn't seem to matter to him that I had gone out...I had begun my pulling away...my doing for me...but I don't always want to go out...so then what to do...find another project (I did spend a lot of time a while ago painting the dining room, again h didn't seem to mind my "absence")
or perhaps as long as I am happy to be doing what I'm doing and don't let the resentment of h's not doing them with me build h will want to join in???
Quote: It won't change if you don't change. You have a young young child, right? Less than a year, I think. That is SO HARD, just by itself. Being a mom of an infant. Are you involved with other moms? I would think you'd need that! You need & deserve emotional support. GO GET IT!!!
dd is now 20 months of trouble...she's a cutie and a climber!! anyway...before all this crap came out..I was involved in play groups...I was getting to know other at home moms in town (and there are tons of 'em) getting together at least one day a week to play...then the holidays came...then the world crashed down on me...I didn't stop...I contiued to seek out friends for son to play with and met a couple of women with sons his age and got together with them...but people get busy...the summer is comming and the kids that were in pre-school will be out soon (s will go next year) actually just yesterday we were at one of his buddies homes to play...the mom I totally consider a friend...she dragged me out to play many a day last summer (she knew the sit) even brought me flowers when I had a tif with the neighbor (who has since moved away...aaaahhhh) her two sons are basically the same ages as my son and dd...so it's fun.
but I do have to do more!!
Quote:
Thank you for being so supportive ofme with Sad & on my thread. Your words have really lifted both of our spirits...I hope you can do the same for yourself!
no problem at all...infact in helping others I often find that I'm helping myself as well...it's much easier to see the possitives in another sit...I point them out and then can't help but sit back and say...hmmm...now why the hell can't you do that for yourself...
