Quoting lostlove: I know that my h does care about me...I know that part of the problem has been that he does care and does try but that it is in his way...when I ask for my way...it is a slap in the face to him...
last night we did have a tif...it was the same old same old..you're not around..I feel alone..yada yada yada...h gets very frustrated with this..and I get very frustrated with this as well..especially since I have it made up in my mind that h was giving all that I want to ow...perhaps he was not and I just assume that he was...I don't know...
eventually h and I did hug...and h said...I know you are hurting LL and I'm sorry for that...I don't want you to hurt anymore...I am just being me...
My first thread revolved around this self-same issue.
Recently, W has shifted from spending time with GF to spending a LOT of time with MF. Her position is that he is a good friend. Whether male or female, it's the same thing. I suppose that makes sense, but I wasn't crazy about being replaced by GF either. Now, MF's wife is having a hard time dealing with their togetherness. My W is upset. "Can't we have any friends without upsetting our families?????" . . . However, I'm still far from where I want to be.
Just staying the course for now.
Well, I tried LL. I tried hard.
But I failed.
I wanted to be someone special to her. I wanted her to treat me in a way that made me feel special and important. To her mind, what I was asking for was for her to change, but she was just being herself.
In the email that I sent her, I asked her one more time if she could see herself clear to edging a little closer to me. This was her response:
Quoting email from Andy’s W: I understand your frustration and your needs. I don't want to spend the rest of my life without intimacy and sharing. And You are not having your needs met, I know that too. I'm sorry.
My relationship with our children is very important. This is what I do. I prepare their heart and their soul for the world, for the future. And I am happy they can talk to me about anything. What is happening to DD#2 is scary. Although she talks to me about the whole situation giving me details about her feelings and emotions, outside influence, out of my control, almost made me lose my beautiful daughter. So our problems have to be put aside for now. I know you know that.
This is not an answer. It's the way it is. And I don't know where it's going.
And I don't know where it's going either.
When I got home from work yesterday, W was not preparing the heart and soul of our children for the world. She was out rollerblading with MF. She was being herself.
But she wants intimacy and sharing. And like your H, she doesn't want to hurt me. So all I can do is to stay the course and wait for her to make intimacy and sharing a priority.
It's not a man/woman thing, LL. I think that deep down, your H wants it too. He just has to figure it out.
