I totally get the frustration, fear and feelings you're having. I was a SAHM too... but it will work out. So believe in yourself.
Once piece of advice I got from my L was to go into mediation with an agenda. So I did... we first needed to address interim issues, such as temporary maintenance, interim debt (ie, mortgage payments) and kid split/decision making... type up and agenda and run the show.
Hope it goes well, sweetie... thinking of you. It will get better.
