lwb & LO - You were the last two to visit my thread. Thanks! LO, I think of you when I think of the fact that my D4 will be spending time away from me. I wonder how I'll make it through those times. You're a strong lady.
This weekend was odd, but good. I took D4 to a birthday party on Saturday. She had a blast. H was home the whole weekend, which is almost actually harder on me. We spend time together, despite the fact that I know we're splitting. H made a good dinner on Saturday night and last night too. Last night we were standing in the kitchen. H made a comment about needing some improvements on his body. I told him he was fine. I blurted out that I wanted work on my chest. Not that I want more, just a lift. He said, oh, now that you're going to be out on the market? My eyes started to water & I had to leave the room. H noticed that I was crying. When I walked back in, H immediately said, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I looked at him and said, H, I said I'm accepting what's happening, but I never said it was easy for me. He said, I know. I'm sorry. He had this mortified look on his face like he knew that he shouldn't have said it.
I think it's time to begin the C sessions again and possibly get in for another consult for meds. I'm on meds, but the past 3 weeks have been extremely hard for me. I was bummed on Sat. thinking of my M ending. H had gone to a local horse track to watch some races & the Kentucky Derby. Despite his mostly nice behavior & actions all weekend, he did show me a bit of why I'm accepting this split. When he came home on Saturday, I asked him a simple question about the races. He snapped at me. He'd been drinking and had that typical angry look on his face. That was my reminder.
We did take D4 to the park yesterday to play. Those are the times I'll miss. Us spending the quality time together as a family. One of his 20-something friends called yesterday when we were on the way to the park. H went on and on about how he was out and about with me & D4. He talked about the 3 of us going to see his family this weekend. Now, this is the 20-something that is also friends with OW. Just odd to hear H talking in a positive way about me and D4 to that friend.
