Trying to figure out WAW

[Flipper]

Christarn,

Thank you SO much for your advice. I really need a WAW point of view. I am new to this board (and to BB's all together). You've brought out a few happy tears just reading your response. I will have a good day now. I am a Christian and really appreciate your prayers.

My wife means so much to me. I guess the more you love 'em, the more passionate one gets. Our favorite movie is Moonstruck and a line in there is, "Do ya love him, Loretta?" "Yeah, Ma, I love him." "Ah, that's too bad, because when you love 'em they make you crazy."

I will print-out your response and when I get sad or frustrated, I will read this. I find that a good strong prayer alleviates anger and bitterness as well.

Your advise, "believe nothing you hear and only 50% of what you see", makes sense. The W did tell her friend that she still was on the divorce-course. That is always not good to hear, even when you expect to hear it.

But when you put it in the perspective of the W, it should not be about me. Your comments remind me that SHE is suffering and that SHE did not ask for this to happen. She is a good person going through a lot. I tend to think that, if she knew how to make things better, she would do it. Right now, she is decompressing and clearing her head. I guess she can't do that if I keep cluttering it up, huh?

When I was talking to her, I mentioned that she did not trust me (that things would be more-of-the-same) and that she was scared. She said it right out, "I AM scared". I thought that was (1) huge for her to admit and (2) let me know that maybe I am on the right track.

I need to destroy her negative feelings for me too: by LIGHTENING up. I keep talking about the R. I seem to let her pull me into it too. She started out asking me if I was going to date people. I took that as an open door, then "blah blah blah". Actually we really seem to enjoy our talks if we keep it light, and I excuse myself early. One time I did that on the phone and got an ILY before hanging up. That was awhile ago.

I am delighted to hear of the D being put on hold. I will place you in my prayers as well. Thanks again!