Quoting sage: Andy (sorry to hijack your thread, LL) -- I'm so sorry about your daughter. How is she doing now?
I don’t want to hijack LL’s thread either, but since you asked, she seems to be doing OK. Thanks for asking Sage.
When my mother died 31 years ago, I picked up a pebble from her grave. I carried it with me ever since then. I even used to shower with it. When I felt down, I placed it in the palm of my hand. Rubbed it. Felt close to my mom. Last night I gave it to DD#2. She was at school when she tried to OD. I’m hoping that if she ever feels alone in the world, she can feel the warmth of the grandmother she never met.
Anyway, like I said, my intention is not to hijack LL’s thread.
LL,
I’m not quite sure what I’m trying to say to you. I guess it’s simply this… You’re making sweeping statements about how your H is preoccupied with himself and doesn’t care about you. I think that perhaps the first is true but I’m not so sure about the second part.
I wouldn’t presume to know what makes your H so self-preoccupied, but whatever it is, that’s the way it is in his head right now. Right or wrong, he can’t put the energy into thinking of anyone but himself.
Right now, my W is in the same mindset. Our DD’s sit forced both of us to think outside the box. But to my shame, I still can’t stop thinking about how bad my M has gotten. In DD’s hour of need, I still feel the lack of mutual support that W and I would previously give each other. I still feel the hurt when W seeks that support from someone else.
But that’s just the way it is.
Will it change? I don’t know.
So, I have to work on the assumption that it will not change.
I guess that’s what you have to do to.
But both of us have to leave the door open. It might just change. We simply don’t know.
