Stories from the Edge (2)

[shatteredheart31]

Hey Lori. I read through all your threads yesterday. It's heartbreaking. I think you and I are feeling alot alike in that we want so desperately to have a chance but our H's are telling us there is none and are avoiding anything that has to do with our stich. You sound alot like me in that you just want to sit down and figure this out and move forward but instead we are stuck here in "limbo" waiting. I feel like a fool sitting here waiting and being so desperate but at the same time I love my husband so much that I feel like it's what I have to do! Sometimes I wonder "if he doesn't want me then why am I even trying?" I try not to think too much about it though b/c that's when I get depressed. You've been at this alot longer than I have though. When I was looking at your posts yesterday I would see the date and think "on this day I was going along with life thinking it would be perfect forever" and then as I'd get to April 17th and after I would be thinking "well, this is where my world crumbled and remembering how awful I felt everyday since" It really made me sad. It makes me realize how precious life and time is and how badly I screwed up and how I am so desperate for my "old" life back!!! Actually, it's not that I want my old life back so much as I want my husband back so we can start a new life. It is so hard for me to be patient.

I also am a scrapbooker and also enjoy making cards. I haven't had any interest in doing that since all this started. I think it'll be a while too b/c it's always been a positive thing for me and right now it just seems so stupid!