what it comes down to is a matter of convenience...when it's convenient to h...he will be an awesome husband..one that everyone would be jelous of..but becuase it is only when it's convenient for him it just doesn't carry through..
so then I can sit and say that when my h has the time or it's convenient for him he shows me love in a way that I fell loved...when it's convenient for him to spend qt with me he will...when it's convenient for him to show me physical affection he will...when it's convenient...
what if I took that attitude...when it's convenient for me I'll cook dinner...when it's convenient for me I'll change dd's diaper..when it's convenient for me I'll make h's lunch...when it's convenient for me I'll be available to spend time with h...when it's convenient for me I'll thank h for working so hard..when it's convenient for me I'll do make h feel loved...
I'm tired of this game...I'm tired of waiting til it's convenient...
here's a perfect example...
earlier this week h said...maybe fri night we'll go out and look for the shed cause I really want a shed... I let him know we may have to ask his dad to sit as his mother is away and my mother is busy...also let him know that I have plans for sat night....today is thurs...I ask h if he's asked his dad about comming over tommorow night...well see how the day goes tommorow...ok gee thanks so depending on how your day goes we may spend some time together...never mind the fact that we haven't spent any real time together all week...if it's not convenient for you to do something with me tommorow (mind you it would be goig shopping for a shed for you) we'll just wait another week....
I'm tired of this life...why did I marry this man anyway...I knew this was the way it would be...why did I think that it would be any different...oh ya cause I was told it would be...I was given crumbs along the way feeding me into this lie...and now I'm stuck in it...it's a shitty cycle and I don't like it...thing is...it will never change no matter what I do...h is too preoccupied with himself to care what I do...
