Internet friendships?

[kolle]

Hi Puppy and Jay

Amen and Amen!

The problem is, I did it for a year and it got me nowhere.

I LOVE MY WIFE and want her back!! And what she does is completely wrong and out of line.

BUT

I snoop. I see she's been talking to OM. I'm hurt. I fight with her. I call her a ho. I break things.

2 things happen:
1) I activate her guilt. She feels bad. I am the one who makes her feel bad. She runs even faster from me.
2) I act like an A$$h*le because of her infedility (It is the natural response to being hurt). Her mind goes: "God this guy is an a$$h*le, I must have been mad to fall in love with him in the first place. What was I thinking when I got married to him? How many sleeps until he moves out?

W made the final decision to D the moment I contacted her EA buddy to tell him to leave my W alone.

Does it make sense? NO! Is it rational? NO! Thats why I posted before that WAWs live in Fairyland. That is the reality I have to deal with.

If I want to save my marriage I have to avoid two things:
--Make her feel guilty.
--Validate her choice to regard me as an a$$h*le and to get a divorce.

I believe once I have won her back (I hope!) she will come around and deal with her guilt in an appropriate, adult way.