Quote: Have you considered applying a systematic approach and DB'ing the heck out of this situation???? What you're doing doesn't seem to be working...what could you be doing differently?
I can never quiet tell if what I'm doing is working or not..or if infact it makes a difference what I do...it could very well be that h IS just busy and though he wants to be and do and all the things I want and need he simply isn't in a possition (work wise) to do so right now..but does on occassion show signs of being here.
Quote: What if you acted "as if" every hour that h spends working was a deposit in your love tank -- because perhaps to him, trying to make himself a success IS a sign of loving you (I say "perhaps" because I obviously don't know).
I try, I really do try to see his working so much as being an expression of love...thus the leaving the note in his lunch "I love and appreciate all you do for us", thus my making his lunch (I know if I don't he wont eat or wont eat well) I thanked him for sending the kids and I to florida...letting us have the wonderful experience as a benefit of his working so hard, I thank him by not complaining (out loud anyway) that he's not around because of work..by not adding extra stress by making a fuss when he's late...by helping out in the yard when I can...helping him to get it done..letting him know when he's got an e-mail from a customer...typing the response for him when he asks...
Quote: I'll reassert my suggestion that you get "Men are from Mars..." -- your "quote" about h (nothing i do is enough) is almost verbatim from the book. What if you went out of your way to thank him for the things that he IS doing?
I've watched a lot of his shows on tv..and actually have the book...I started to read it when h first came home..even read some of it to him too...perhaps I should pick it up again and stop wallowing...
Quote: 'm just wondering if shaking things up by doing some 180s wouldn't help....
it is h that has a hard time with being consistant...whether it's because of work or some other factors I do not know...I need to be as consistant as possible...if I start shaking things up too much it will only serve to confuse h..but I will say that I've started to once again get out and do my own thing...mon night I took off and went to see the matrix (alone) just because I needed to get out...h understood..thing is with him it takes a few days for him to "react.
