Drowning still - 23 years, feel like I am sinking

[CBK]

Just journaling a bit to keep my mind off of sitc', or maybe keep it on the sitc' so I an really think about what I should be doing. No call, email or text, but am okay with this. MIL is having dinner at house with family which is great. She used to come over every Sunday, I am bummed I am missing this actually. I started this about a year ago after the kids left and thought it important to spend time with MIL. Oh well.

I keep replaying last night in my mind, man, did I screw up. Can't take back the past, can only improve the future - of course, you have all heard that before! I need to stay where I am, stay "dark" on this trip, no matter how difficult it will be. Tonight will be the toughest as yesterday was so emotional.

Staying strong - CBK