I don't think I've ever posted to you before. Just want to say I'm sorry that you've separated. My H and I have been a few separations. He's been back home almost two years, but we had a couple of false starts before we both decided separating was no longer an option. We're happier than we've ever been, but I have to tell ya.... we've gone through the "there's something missing" thing. Actually, we'll probably always have that feeling because the passion and love of our youth is missing. That includes some of the attraction. I told him for six months that I don't feel the same.. I'm no longer madly in love with him. It spooked me and I didn't know if I'd ever be happy again. In the last couple of months though something strange and wonderful has happened. I've settled into a peaceful, deep, and secure love and adoration for him. As I learn to accept the new phase of our relationship it brings a much deeper happiness than we've known together. I had to stop looking back and worrying about what was missing. I had to learn to explore the love and trust we've built together.
I hope your M and your W is going through a phase and you come out of this a family again. There are so many blessings in a mature M.. the transition can be scary, but after 20 years, there's still much to be found and explored.
HFF, Haven't posted to you in awhile ... way back when on the infidelity forum. Hope you're doing ok in your sitch. I, too am sorry you're separated.
I have to way WOW to Sheila for her words of wisdom! Although my H and I are piecing, at times I am still riddled with self doubt. I think about the "there's something missing" or "is this all there is?" Relationships do go through phases. Although the love of youth is gone, I think what you get in return is SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. Tremendous thanks, Sheila for pointing this out.
I think about my grandparents, who have been married for over 60 years. To me they are the epitome of what a marriage is all about ... love, caring, sharing, being there for one another, growing together, growing old together. They are two peas in a pod.
HFF, it took a lot for you to give your W the space she asked for. I too hope that your M and your W comes through this phase and you come out a family once again. GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT!
