Trying to figure out WAW

[christarn]

Flipper, just the fact that she is calling you...is a great sign. She's reaching out, so she's thinking about you, take that as a positive.

I think it's great you have a "friend" who is telling you things your W says...but be careful...just a word of advice. One thing I have learned in a year and 3 months at this, believe nothing you hear and only 50% of what you see.

I don't know for sure, so I am just stabbing in the dark at this one, she is wanting your attention. She left to get your attention, she is calling you, she's not super sure what to talk about...but knows something inside isn't "right" without you, "listen" to what she is saying. Empathize with her. Make small talk and see if it will get her to open up. She may not want to hear about all the "great" things you are doing for you, because she is not at that place yet. She has to get there on her own. She has to see the changes, not be told about them.

I think you are doing great with all of the things you are doing on you. You have to tread extremely light when it comes to conversations with her. You might even talk for ten or so minutes, then say hey it was great to hear from you, but I have to go, meeting up with the guys for a beer and to watch a game. Leave her wanting more. It hurts like hell to do, but it might open her eyes, and if the conversation is lacking, it gets you out of it.

I am a WAW, left in Jan of 07, filed for D shortly after. My H and I agreed in May 07 to put D on hold. He is wavering as to what to do. Just because a D has been filed, do not give up hope. I also reccommend a DB coach. They are expensive, but well worth the price. Mine has given me invauable advice. The most recent being the 4 steps/phases of reconciling a R/M. 1. destroy negativ feelings(takes time) 2.regain a friendship (talking/hanging out) 3. Romance (speaks for itself, start MC here) 4. reconcilliation.

My best advice is PATIENCE, PATIENCE, PATIENCE. This will not happen quickly. It will take time. And Time, flipper is truly on your side

I will keep you in my prayers. Best of luck
Christarn