It is nice here today. 70* and clear as a bell. I mowed today, all two acres. I cried the whole time. I cried for me and my D. I cried for my W. I cried for all on this board who have had the rugs pulled out from under them this weekend. I cried for the ones who are struggling and tears of joy for the ones who have succeeded. Believe me if you are sad and lonely do not shed a tear today, I cried enough for all of us.
I truly appreciate all of you who have posted and given me support. It is good to be able to vent to people who care enough about their fellow man to lend an ear.
I raise a beer to you, all the ones on this board looking for answers and the talented people giving out good advice....you guys are my heroes..all of you.
Last edited by M from Tennessee; 05/04/0807:00 PM.
Hang in there buddy. We are on the same trip with the WAW. I understand your pain and the crying. I seem to get it when I am lonely and just need someone to talk to. We have to do our best on this difficult task and stay in the game as long as we can.
The sermon at Church today was about how we deal with "broken". There were 4 steps: 1-Cry 2-Confess 3-Call out God 4 help 4 -Celebrate Deliverance. I have hit 1,2 and 3 almost every day.
We are in the same boat - I sat there with a blanket over my head on the plane ride east and just cried. I know we will be okay, but dang, this hurts all of us. I keep asking God for a sliver of my W's heart back, I could work with that.
Keep doing what you need to do - be strong with the F and cry when you are alone. Of course, this is a do as I say, not as I do...
Be well MFT.
CBK
M=46 W=47 M=24 (together 26) D21, S19 Bomb 3/16/08 OM 3/28/08 WAW moved out 5/16 Divorce final 10/09
Mike, I raise a beer back to you buddy, times are tough right now on us but we will rise above it. I hope you are having a good day, knowing you, you are on the golf course as I am typing. That is what I wanted to do today but figured I better get my financial workbook filled out for the L's as they will be asking for them this week.
Stay strong during this, you or I am not finished yet although it does appear to look that way. Anything is possible, we must believe in this.
No, no golf course for me today. I asked my W what she was going to do about the house and the staining. I did not get the staining done last year due to the rain. She went into this thing about how she needed me to go ahead and refinance the house with her so we could both go ahead and get our equity out of it now so she could go ahead and pay her car off and her CC's so she would be able to keep the house. I told her no deal, she would have to refinance herself or if She wants to stay in the house then work on the M with me, or at least put the D on hold 6 months so we can give MC a legit shot. She told me she was done, said I had emotionally abused her, said she would have me removed from the house, said I was a bas***D and a S*B. I took it all in. Said I caused all this...yes, I was an ass, yes I'm responsible for some of it..but she chose to walk away, she chose to quit. Says she can forgive me for things but can't forget anything.
She had the gall to tell me that she had "rescued" me from a little apartment I was in when we met. The truth was she was in Roanoke, Va. Covered up in a sh**ty house she could not pay for and had just come out of a bankruptcy..she moved here and without me would not be in her "dream log home" which she is about to make herself lose.
She ended up coming clean about yesterday and where she went. I asked "why lie" she said it's because she wanted her mom to keep our D and that I would not have let her..not true, no problem as long as I know what's going on.
I told her I had never lied to her..I told her I had kept every promise that I had made to her. I have always told her the truth, soooo I told her that I would be signing the response on Tuesday and what she could expect..50/50 visitation week on week off until D reaches age 6, then it will go to every other weekend..she cussed me, she cried..she's pissed...
She said " I told you to trust me" about the papers..I got the papers and they had the minumum visitation..80 days a year..yea, I trust ya honey, I trust ya. You wouldn't lie to me would ya..you wouldn't document anything said or any emails between us to use against me would?? Na..
Looks like I will bust the big D wide open and it ain't gonna be pretty. I figure that this will pretty much end up busting me..I know the house is gone for sure.
She has never, will not take anyyyyyyy accountability for the failure of our M..none what-so-ever..she says the only thing she ever did was take care of me...says nothing she ever did caused any of this..all I can say is WOW..
Dude, sorry about your day. Lot's of revelations... From what I understand, they will not take any accountability for the breakup of the M, at least that is what I have been told.
You have a lot to think about over the next few days. The one thing I have always said is that no matter how our sitc' turns out, I will have my integrity in tack - which is very important to me as a person. Sounds like you will have the same. Time to think of your next move Mike.
CBK
M=46 W=47 M=24 (together 26) D21, S19 Bomb 3/16/08 OM 3/28/08 WAW moved out 5/16 Divorce final 10/09
Mike, sorry to here about this. It just seems like things are falling apart all around on both of our sitch.
Do not refinance the house. My W asked me about 2 months ago to do the same thing when the interest rates dropped. Now I know why she wanted to do it, she is going to try and keep our house if she is able to get enough money from me to pay for it.
You never know, I have heard many say that woman can not stand to be without their children, if you get 50/50, that just may change some things for you.
You stated she has been documenting things you say and emails you send, did this come out in the divorce papers?
Be tough and hold your ground on this, don't get suckered into going against what is best for you.
