SF, God works at a very slow pace and that is to ensure that your h's emotional wounds are completely healed. I've often said to many over the years that night is the time when they can't shut their thoughts off. These thoughts are of the home, family, friends and fun times that they've left behind. This is one of the reasons why the can't sleep.
SF, you have been an inspiration to many here on patience, kindness, and compassion. Your faith will carry you through the rest of this journey and the rewards at the end of the journey may or may not be what you expected, but I do think you'll be happier than you've been in a very long time. The road you've been traveling on has been a bumpy one, but not so bumpy that you've lost sight of your faith and that's what is important right now.
I'm very glad to see he took the girls out and had a good time. May I suggest that the girls try something different with him other than shopping, i.e., a sports event or something different? I suspect he gets tired of taking them shopping and that's why he spends a lot of time w/your son, doing the "manly" thing of sitting around talking, etc. I could be far off base w/this, but it's something to think about.
I do hope he comes back by today and stays a while. He's still fragile, but he's still on the path of working his way home. As for his clothes, I bet they stay packed up in the box until he returns home. The vitamins, well...he feels he needs to leave something behind for a bit as a lifeline. Leave the vitamins out where he can see them so that he knows that the lifeline hasn't been cut.
Enjoy your day.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
May I suggest that the girls try something different with him other than shopping, i.e., a sports event or something different? I suspect he gets tired of taking them shopping and that's why he spends a lot of time w/your son, doing the "manly" thing of sitting around talking, etc.
I agree with snodderly about doing something different. Since your H previously accused of being used for his money, perhaps it's better to avoid going shopping with him. So he can't say he's being taken advantage of when the girls asks him to buy something for them. So he doesn't think they have an ulterior motive (of getting things from the store) in going shopping with them.
Do you know what there is to do in the desert if it is hot?
Like everyone else, we either go:
to a mall, not necessarily to buy something
sometimes to grab a bite to eat, rare for all of us these days
sporting event sounds fun but would be way more expensive than buying a shirt
to the movies, okay, if there is something good to see but still more expensive
Not much to do out here, and when it gets into the 90's, who wants to be outside, right?
Funny thing about the kids is that he suggests they go out to such and such and then they are like okay, whatever...............
Heck, H spends more money on S17 then the girls combined!
He is coming over later today for awhile.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Not much going on but H came over on Sunday, stayed until 8PM.
We hung out on the patio and I told him I was actively searching for a full time job. He has been wanting to get out of the line of work he is in for a long time. There are some possibilities (God-willing) that look appealing to me and it would allow him to actively search for another job without feeling pressure due to the salaries of the jobs I am looking into.
We discussed issues such as he doing what I currently do (if I were to get one of these jobs) and that is taking and picking up kids from school, the grocery shopping, that sort of thing.
When he left, told each other I love you and we'll talk sometime this week.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
He was definitely on board but as for the coming home, I am not pushing him at the moment. He has to ride this out. I know he wants to come home and he misses it as he told me this just last week.
As a sidenote, I would not be available to begin a new job until June 1st anyway.
He has to set the pace and be strong enough to do it as I am not going to tell him what to do.
He is just now reconnecting with the girls once again as he had no contact with them for almost three weeks. He has to do that first and feel comfortable around all of them.
Right now I am okay with the way things are. He'll be back and I consider this part of the journey.
Last edited by steelersfan; 05/05/0803:36 PM.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
