Originally Posted By: kat727
Neecy matters. If he doesn't see that now, maybe he will later when you have stopped giving him so much control over you.


Ditto!!!

"He who angers you controls you." (Not sure who said it, but it's true!)



Neecy, you were not being naive. For awhile there, your H's actions were showing good progress and that he was trying. Well, we now know he was continuing to be deceptive. There was no way for you or for anyone else here to know that.

It's interesting how they want their "freedom", but then they act like they don't want you to have yours.

My H was a lot like yours. He didn't like it AT ALL when I was vague with my answers about my whereabouts and such. He would pursue me, but it wasn't positive pursuit. It was negative pursuit because it infuriated him. So I had to find a balance. There were times I'd tell him everything, and there were other times in which I'd tell him very little. Those times were usually on Friday or Saturday nights, when everyone's out doing something, like partying ;\) . He'd ask, "What are you doing tonight?", and I'd respond with, "Going out with some friends." H - "What friends?" Me - "(I'd name one friend) and couple others. I gotta go. You have a good night!" Then I'd say bye and hang up.

When I actually started dating, a year after we S'ed, there were a couple of times I had to tell him it wasn't any of his business anymore. I certainly never asked him what his plans were. He was out of the house and living his own life. I always hoped he would come back, but I had my life to live, too.

Anyway.

Maybe you should reply to the texts. Keep that connection going and pick other ways to be mysterious with him.

What do you think?

Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell