Real life's getting more like fiction each day....

[Starshyne]

Who knows where my title comes from?

I woke up this morning feeling refreshed and anew. I am starting over with a beginners mind. I am going to try to detatch again and not care that my husband is a big huge cake and ice cream eater.

I did some things this weekend that you all wouldn't like. I am sure you all will shake your head and go "that isn't what we told her!" But I thought of our friend Jeff in St. Louis and how loving he his towards his wife. I figure like may of you, I just have this summer of my H here with me, so I am going to keep trying.

What happened that you all won't like? I will tell you. I am such an enabler. H came home yesterday and asked me to go out with him to diner and movie. While I know that I should have had other plans and said no, clingy Sara really liked the idea of spending time with her H, and so I said yes.

One thing that I learned is that our text messages weren't going through to each other 100% of the time. Which doesn't make me happy about H staying out until 2am for three nights in a row, but it does change things a little bit.

Basically I know that H doesn't want to come home because I always gripe at him about staying out too late. He doesn't want me to know where he is going (says I will just show up there). Alright...so I am going to stop asking him those questions. I am going to step texting him when he is out. When he is gone, I am not going to mope around the house crying that my H isn't home. I am going to act like I am happy, work on that book I want to write and get on with my life. I am not going to bother with H and if I need to kick him out or whatever. Right now I am sick of that thought.

I still have that appointment with a lawyer tomorrow afternoon. It will be good to have that information incase I need it. But Kris was right....I am not signing off on my marriage, just getting some information to help me be more educated.

I am still not sure if H has OW or not. He still says he doesn't. I still suspect that he does. If he does, I wonder if it is the previous OW. Oh well...I want to stop dwelling on that.

Here is to a new thread and a new week.

Sara