I'll Never Be Alone

[Creed]

I don't know how many of the oldtimers are out there...vee, karen, wishing, mermaid,jaybee, laughing, etc...

If any of you stop in here occasionally I thought you'd be interested to know that after 2 years of living together, and never becoming engaged, etc...xh has told our oldest son that although he and Twinkie will continue to see each other, he wants her OUT of his apartment.

I can't say that I'm not thrilled to hear this, but I'm also not putting too much weight that the fog might be lifting either. Could just be that one of them wanted more, and the other didn't. Hopefully now, XH will have more spare time to spend with our adult sons. Both are in need of emotional rx at this point. S30 is considering divorce himself, and is the one that keeps contact with his father. s25 has moved in with a girl he's known only a few months, and who has a 9yr old son.

I never, EVER saw my kids going through this type of turmoil in their lives. I never thought that their lives would be any different than my own, growing up. It hurts to the core to see the emotional upheavel they've gone though, and the choices they continue to make when they are suffering inside. I can only pray for them. Neither really care to hear moms advice...as you know, mom didn't do so hot herself. I don't know what type of advice xh would give them, or has that I don't know about. I don't ask, and they don't offer info. Although it was s25 that mentioned this new development about his dad.

I will continue to pray for xh..and will continue to hope that the person I thought I had married will rise from the ashes at some point. I know that Im still working on my own issues , and can only hope that at some point, he will do the same, without the aid of a 'bandaid' .

There has been absolutely no contact with xh in 2 years although we live in the same small rural town. Amazing. But then with my job, I dont have much of a social life or get out often. I think of him everyday, and have dreams about him regularly..most are not happy ones, some are. He will always be in my heart, I have accepted that. I go through life knowing that what will be, will be...and that I must continue to forge on.

Just thought this revelation of the 'honeymoon' being over might be a spot of insight for some of you that have joined me on this journey since the beginning. Things really do seem to follow a 'script', and this is just more proof of that.

Hope you're all doing well.

[Between Tears]

Well, well, so good to hear from you Ms Creed, I am happy to see your post, knowing you are still out there, somewhere, still putting one foot in front of the other. Bravo and Kudos to you!

Your post also proves going dark, staying out of the way of the MLCer's journey, allowing him to twist in the wind, all by himself, that eventually they will stir, at least grumble about the choices he has made, and looking like he just may realize he picked the wrong person to set up house with..... Oh, this may be a momentary stir for now, just as we all stir as we sleep now and then.... but eventually it just may lead to some sort of day light hitting his eyes (and the fog within his head). Wanting her out of his apartment is only the first step, oh sure, they may see each other for a while, but as we both know, it's very hard to continue a relationship once it's set back, or a step backwards or down from what it once was. It looks like the beginning of the end to me!

You sound well, strong, and just as any experienced LBS, aware that we really can't do anything but sit back and watch from a distance. So, what are you doing for yourself? What sort of new stuff is in your life now? What have you gained through this experience?

Hope to hear from you soon.....

Lots of love and happy thoughts being sent your way!

Love,

Laughing