Locked another thread. Guess I'm getting to be an old hand at this. I can't even fit my list in my signature anymore. So, here are my previous threads:
Here's the quick recap - W moved out in October 07 after saying "ILYBINILWY". I did all the wrong stuff, then found DB in November and worked my butt off, but nothing got better. Then discovered OM in Jan 08. From end of January to beginning of March there were a lot of back and forths, including W moving back into house for 2 weeks. But she wouldn't put any energy into anything and kept saying she "didn't understand her feelings but couldn't deny them." So she asked me to wait 6 months while she had a go at relationship with OM. I said no so she asked for D. She finally filed towards the end of April. I moved out of the house last week.
So, before my last thread locked, I was feeling lonely in my new place. Hopeful, GFI, Puppy, gForce, and lwb all chimed in to remind me to GAL. So I did - you guys are so right! I haven't been exercising because of the move and I always get in a crappy mood when I don't have regular exercise. So spent the day out and about and I feel great.
Many of you keep commenting that W doesn't act like she knows what she wants. I'm not sure if that's me just being hopeful the way I write stuff or if you see something I don't, but she does go through these cycles of seeming to miss sitting down at the end of the day and talking about everything - you know, the good friend stuff that I always felt was so important in a R.
Anyway, she stopped by to drop off some stuff. She couldn't believe my new place and really liked it. She kept lingering, so I invited her to sit out on the porch. We chatted about everything and she kept saying how busy she is. then she said the last couple of weeks had been really hard. I didn't say anything. I told her her sister had emailed. She asked why and I told her "to say goodbye." My W lost it - started crying. I got some kleenex for her and changed the subject. She stayed teary for quite some time but finally relaxed again. Kept talking and there were more instances of her starting to cry, so I said I should probably get back to my gardening. I felt like hugging her and probably could have, but didn't try. She seems kind of messed up right now.
I need to just let her spin in her own world, and I feel pretty good that this encounter accomplished that - somewhat of a 180 for me not to act more concerned, try to comfort, etc. Now to do what GFI said - come up with a game plan for what I'm doing with my life! After all, at this point what else have I got?
