I went dark to see if my W would call ME. About 10 days went by and she called. We small-talked and seem to be getting along. Then a question, "Were you thinking of dating? Becuase we're going in different directions." I explained that I was not going to date, that I was wearing my ring (she's not) and was working on myself. She claimed not to want to date right now and it appears she is telling the truth. I have been doing pretty well keeping things light but I thoughtshe wanted to know what I had been up to. I told her of all the couseling, reading I was doing; how I was figuring things out and how she must have suffered from MY depression. I did, however, get the feeling that I went too far, "this thing can swing around and get better..we can be happier than ever". Okay, that did go too far. But I thought the important thing was that I recognized her pain and I was aware of that.
Well, her g-friend called me with some intel. The W said that the conversation was nice but it became all about ME. Her friend, who is very cool, said to keep it about HER for now; that W thinks that I don't care about what is going on in her life. I even took notes. But after I got off the phone, I cried and cried. I spilled my guts to her and that's what she had to say. I am so hurt right now. I know I will eventually calm down and re-group, but right now, this sucks.
Also, her big thing is that I don't listen to her, but I CAN'T get her to open up! I pause when I talk to her, waiting for a response...just silence.
It seems that, no matter how I play it, I will be made to fail and she will be the victim. Never mind that I asked her what all she was up to and we spoke, cheerfully. Can someone tell me of similars? Is this common? Part of me feels like an idiot. I have been working so hard, reading, counseling, etc. She doesn't seem to even care. It hurts. I guess she wants to feel GOOD about divorcing me.
