I was going to say something in your post, but I think it locked up? Not sure, but couldn't post.
Last night, I went out to dinner and had drinks with some girlfriends. H texted me once saying he hoped I was having a good time and he loved me and missed me. He never used to do that stuff. I came home soon after and we talked before going to bed. Nice. It was good to connect with my gfs. Have lost touch with them for the past 3 years.
Today, woke up, H and I got ready for church and made the early mass together. Mass was nice and felt good to sit together with his arm around me and our son with us. As we headed home I found myself getting more and more critical of him...bad breath, didn't shave, too skinny, jeans are "floods", walks funny, etc. The skinny thing has always been an issue because he runs a lot and eats like a bird so he constantly looks too thin to me. It's a "turn off". Maybe I'm still comparing to OM...I don't know. I don't know what to do about those things. Just love him for who he is? I can try. Try to see the good things, not the bad things? I can try. Is it ok to want your H to work on his outward appearance to make himself more attractive? Or, am I just getting the "ick" because I am still withdrawing from OM?
We came home from church and I can feel grumpy. We are pleasant to one another and talk about things we want to do this summer and what we want to do today. He asks about Mother's Day. I hate that he can't ever just get me a gift on my own. I wish he knew me enough to do this. I don't even want anything. I told him I just want us to be happy...that's all I want. I finally came across something in the Sunday ads that I want. He'll probably get me that. I could tell him that the $10 pink tool set from Menards and a huge bouquet of pink carnations would have been even better, but when I have to tell him then it isn't quite as nice and I woudln't feel the same about them.
He just left for a bike ride with son. I love how great a dad he is. He said me coming along would be even better. I have about 3 hours of work to do. I will work on it while they are gone. Then, we will do stuff together when they get back.
Back to your post to me, Jeff- the finances and the kids make your W have reasons to stay....but those are not the only reasons. If she really wanted to leave she would. I understand you wanting to feel like a man again and get some loving. Right now, I am craving feeling like a "woman", and it is hard to have H make me feel that way......it's going to take time........
Thanks for watching my post. I look for your insight on what I said today.
