A question for the troups... I’m sure many of you have gone through this... so how do you get over the hump?
Officially, now we’re separated a week... and I’m finding myself increasingly feeling like: Maybe I really don’t want this person in my life. Even after a “week” of being separated, I’m starting to feel more like this hour by hour. I just want the pain and this nightmare to stop.
I mean.....WHY, WHY, WHY!? do I want this person in my life... after all, he’s given me an emotional kick in the stomach and heart? He’s hurt be beyond belief... he’s rejected me etc etc etc.
How do I get to detached without complete and total hatred or disgust and bouncing in and out of indifference? (Cuz that’s now what I’m feeling).
How am I ever going trust this person again, let along forgive him for what he’s done to us?
We’re supposed to “potentially” have our first weekly date tonight (once a week according to talks and plans leading up to the separation)... and I had to remind him of it... he’s booked himself pretty solid,...almost as though he wanted to be too busy to do it.
The way I feel,... I’m not even sure I want to see him... and yet, I know I’ll be disappointed if he cancels...scratch that... RENEGES on this “friendship” restart right out of the starting blocks.
Why do I get the sick feeling that after all the "promises" we said about separating to "try" to rebuild... it was all BS? *sigh*
Abbey
T:22, M:20 H:55 Me:45 H-OW PA: N/07 OW Jan08 Bomb:Feb/08 S: Apr/08 Back together Ap1/09-Sept/11 Oct, 2011, uncertain future/H is a mess. Dec/11 - Doin'friend mode. Some days are better than others.
